Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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