vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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