I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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