we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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