My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
