I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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