Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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