her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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