I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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