I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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