I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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