We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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