Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
