i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize