Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
