I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
