My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
She's just so happy...and so naked.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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