smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
