I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Randomize
