Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
