who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
