she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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