She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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