I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize