I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Randomize
