And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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