Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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