i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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