In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
