Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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