dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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