Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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