masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
That accounts for only three of the penises
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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