I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
