Can Purell be used as lube?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
why is half of my head shaved?
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