I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
You can't just leave with hair like that
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
Randomize
