im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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