butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
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