Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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