There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
we're so committed to being not committed
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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