The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
