i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
In America we eat man semen.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
