I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
