Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
