All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize