He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I want a musical about memes.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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