This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Randomize
