I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
