Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
