So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
it was like eating out sand paper
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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