i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
