its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
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