The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
