i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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