okay pat passed out under dana's car
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
