Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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