sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
