so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Randomize
