There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
