Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
