Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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