My room smells like vodka and shame
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
