I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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