dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
