wrigley field is MILF paradise
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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