Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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