i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
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