soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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