There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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