Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
