this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
