Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
Randomize
