The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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